I Need a Laugh Today

I got a phone call from Christopher Sunday, when he wasn't supposed to be calling. He said they're trying to kick him out for inability to adapt (well then don't make phone calls when you're not supposed to stoopid) and he's having trouble keeping up with the training. It was a 60 second call. I told him to stick with it and get help - they will help him through it.

My stomach has been in knots since. He has to make it through this. I finally sent off my 6 letters and 2 packages (stationary, pics etc). I hope he gets them quick and can get support and encouragement from them. I read him the riot act a bit. He needs to 'adapt' follow orders 100%, give 110% and just keep going. I'm afraid if he takes the easy way out on this he will ruin the rest of his life, he'll always take the easy way out.

Say a prayer please.

Holy Icecubes Batman - It's Cold Out There!

Baby it's cold outside!

It's so cold even the dog only goes out to tinkle and races back in the house!

Swearing In

Christopher
December 30th, 2009

I got my Letters!

6 to be exact! Cried like a baby! He's finally realizing just how good he had it and boy does he miss me & Nana and his home.

He found a shiny penny, tails up during PT. That's a sign from my Dad. He now knows for sure that Grampa is watching over him.

Mom got her letters too, 3 of them. Could have knocked her over with a feather when she saw 'a bible' on the list of things he wants. I don't think he's ever even opened a Bible.

He's determined to make it. He wants Nana "To be impressed with the man I will be when she see's me".

I've printed up a small photo album & some return address labels for him. I've got envelopes and two legal pads to send out tomorrow too.

Even though he was driving me batshit crazy and pushed me to my limits, I miss my baby so much.

Again - anyone interest in Christophers mailing address can e-mail me. The link is on my profile page.

I got my DVD!

My DVD arrived in the mail Friday! I was so excited I watched it 5 times. He looks so good. I'm having problems uploading it to youtube though. I'll try and work it out cause I'd love to share it with you.

I got a 5 minute phone call from Christopher Saturday. He's struggling in basic but he's determined to make it, his head is really in it. He's not sure if he'll be able to call again until he completes basic. He finally has an address though and was able to mail out all his letters. I can't wait to get them so I can start sending him mine. He was planning on going to Mass today. It's so great that he's doing that. I think it's a connection to home and having some kind of spiritual belief will help him more than he ever thought possible.

As I type this, Dusty is in my lap laying across my right wrist. Doesn't make it easy to type. I put her down twice but she just keeps coming back. This is the only place where she will sit in my lap. She refuses to when I'm on the couch.

Bro went to the house in Maine for the weekend. Mom was worried sick about the pipes freezing and the place being out of oil. Bro could hear water when he came in the door. The odd thing is, the water was coming from the drain valve on the water heater. That's something that has to be physically opened, and it was only opened a smidge to keep the water dripping and the heater from freezing. It was 30 degrees in the house and some of the pipes had frozen. Nothing ruptured though and he managed to crank up the wood stove and thaw everything out. The oil man will be delivering tomorrow.

I think my Dad had a hand in that. He's still watching out for us.

We got another 6 inches of snow overnight. I'm aggravated with mew snow blower. The crank for the chute came loose and I found a gear on the ground, now I have to move it manually. The brush underneath came off when I was at Mom's too. I'm glad I spent the $75 extra for the 3 year service plan. I'm going to have to call and bring it in for service. I don't think they tightened things up enough when they put it together and a brand new blower shouldn't be falling apart with normal use! We're due for another 2-4 inches this week and then a deep freeze down to 0! At least it's not as cold here as in Canada where Rox lives.

I know family checks in here, so email me if you'd like Christopher's mailing address.

Survey Says

I haven't been very creative in the last couple years but I started getting back into it before Christmas.

I make jewelry: necklaces, bracelets, anklets, earrings & rings. I made a couple hundred bucks via the office mates before Christmas. They got some sharp but inexpensive handmade gifts to give.

Would any of my readers be interested in seeing what I have available? My prices are very reasonable. I could post some picks here, and if there is interest enough, even set up shop at Etsy.

For now I'd call it the "Please get me to my son's military graduation shop". Every penny would be going towards that trip I hope to take in 10 weeks or so.

Please give me your thoughts.

That's not the alarm

Woken up at 10:30 PM last night by the neighbors (from hell) stereo thump thump thumping. I think it was actually the car stereo. This went on for a half hour. Doesn't seem like a big deal until you factor in that I go to bed at 9 to get up at 5AM. I also usually arrive home at 5PM to the thump, thump, thumping of neighbors stereo (the 16 year old drop out that was hanging with Christopher).

I'm going to have to go talk to the Mom. I think I'll inform her that the boy is sneaking out at night (seen it) as well as her 12 year old daughter (caught her)..........She's such a wonderful mother, maybe she'll do something about it...........OK, you can stop laughing now.

I could fight fire with fire. I've got a bangin surround sound system with a big sub woofer. I could put on whatever the opposite of rap is and crank it up. I just can't seem to stoop to their level though. Pissing contests aren't my style.

What would you do?

I wish I could just hit the lottery and move far away from here.

Happenings..

Gotta love New England weather.

My bod is sore from snow blowing driveways yesterday. I did Mom's & her neighbors (two elderly ladies). Then I went home in the afternoon and did mine plus my 3 senior neighbors. It was wet from raining part of the day on top of the two inches of snow and would be nothing but a sheet of ice once it froze. I drove Mom to work and worked from her house all day, then picked her up at 7:30 (12 1/2 hour day for her). I'm tired and sore and am working on a big grant proposal due in a couple weeks.

I'm so glad I splurged on a good snow blower a couple weeks ago. I needed something dependable with son being gone. If I had to shovel all that wet shit yesterday I'd be in traction today.

Is it Friday yet?

The bestest thing came in the mail to my Mom & Grandmother yesterday.....a DVD message from Christopher! He looks so bald and so handsome in his fatigues. I can see changes in him already. I'll get the disc from Mom and post it for you all to see.

For the first time in a very, very long time - I don't have to worry. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me.

What are the Odds?

Out of the 200 enlistees starting basic training with Christopher, only 80 will make it to graduation.

80.

Wow.

I have faith that he is going to be one of those 80. I know son might not think so, but I think he's going to shine in this environment.

He's going to be better than even he ever imagined for himself.

I Can Already See the Changes

I am certainly missing the daily text messages from Christopher. I did get to talk to him again last night.....

Did you feel hell freeze over? Did the Earth move? Did time stand still?

My son not only went to church, he went to confession...wait for it - BECAUSE HE WANTED TO. Took him a half hour since he hadn't been in 8 years. (I think I'd have to take a few days to do my confession, I cannot count how many years it's been). His buddies were a bit pissed cause they had to wait for him. He did what he had to do though.

Christopher had been going to Mass with his Grandmother & Great-Grandmother when he started staying there back at the end of November. I dropped that ball long ago, I should have kept him going to church and forced him to follow through with CCD & his confirmation. It was one of those things that got really tough, being a single Mom.

You could have knocked me over with a feather when he told me. I think it's awesome though. It's now a connection to home for him and I truly hope he is making a spiritual connection.

He did that on his own, if he were still home and had the choice - there's no way he would have gone.

He still hasn't started basic, maybe Tuesday or Wednesday. They like to keep them off balance and tear them down to build them back better. Whatever they're doing....I'm already impressed.

Hey, See That there clock on the Sidebar?

That old familiar clock has reappeared on my sidebar.

Yes, friends - Lost is almost back, just 16 days away.

The breaks between seasons are too long for me. I kind of lose interest until that first episode of the new season and WHAM! I am sucked back in again.

It's something to look forward to.

A Better Call from Son

Christopher just called again and he sounds like a different person. Gone were the tears and homesickness. I'm sure he'll have more of those tough moments, but at least he now knows they will pass. He only had 5 minutes but I could hear the excitement in his voice when he said he got his uniform (can't wear it until he leaves processing and goes to actual basic, Sunday or Monday). "Then I'll start feeling like a real soldier. Things will probably start sucking again then." I told him that will only be for the first couple weeks. He said he's sleeping better too. When last I talked to him he had gotten about 4 hours sleep total in two days. A buddy gave him a 160 minute phone card. He's sent out letters to me, my Mom & his father and we'll be able to write him once he gets a P.O. box in basic.

I'm so relieved that he's adjusting. He just sounded so.....GOOD.

K & Rox - your thoughts and prayers helped. And K, I promise, won't happen again.

Getting The Message

I struggled with the existence of an afterlife for some time after my Dad died. I've be given many, many signs - which is a singular post that's been rolling around my head for some time. I will eventually get to that.

I have come to believe, without a doubt, that my Dad is still with us, watching over us. It's not the way I want it to be, it is the way it is and it has to be enough. It's taken me a long time to accept that. I'm still grieving, and will for the rest of my life. I still have days when the grief storms hit and I rail at the universe. I also have days like yesterday, when I receive a gift from the other side that give me faith in a continued existence beyond life.

Case in point:

I have a bird feeder in my back yard. When I'm too lazy to close the back door when the dog comes in, birds occasionally fly in and hit the glass of the front door. Yesterday was just such an occasion. I saw a bird fly through and hit the front door. When I went out to rescue it, I heard a second fluttering under son's workbench. I managed to grab that Junco and released it out the back door. The second Junco was clinging to the screen of a storm window.

I gently cupped the Junco in my hand and went to the back door. I held my hand out the door but, the bird just hunkered down into the warmth of my hand. I figured it had been stunned by the impact and just waited for it to recover. It just kept sitting in my hand. It was snowing at the time, I was still in my pj's and it was bloody cold. I brought my hand to my chest and stroked the downy soft head, checked it's wings to see if they were broken and then extended my arm out the open door. The bird started chirping softly. I opened my hand and bounced it up and down a few times to see if it would fly away. It didn't. It hunkered down and chirped a few more times. I opened my hand and moved it up and down a bit more vigorously. The wild bird bounced from my hand to my arm and stayed there looking at me. I talked softly to it and it just kept eyeballing me. About 10 minutes had passed at this point and I was getting mighty cold. I told it to fly away, I got the message, and then it flew to the tire of the snowblower under the feeder.

Skeptics could logically explain this away. Was the bird just stunned and disoriented? Probably.

I choose to believe something else. I've posted before about my Dad's affinity with animals. This wasn't my first unusual encounter with a wild bird since he passed. The fact that there were two birds trapped on the porch was a first time thing too.

I've been asking my Dad to watch over Christopher and keep him safe.

I think he just let me know he got the message.

Thank you Daddy.