Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Totally Relevant

The Universe is Poking Me

I get this Healthy Reflections newsletter from Sparkpeople today. This is definitely relevant to my post last night that had me balling in my Cherrios again. I think the Universe is poking me (with help from my Dad) and reminding me of what my father told me so often - "All you have is today, so get off your ass........What the hell are you waiting for?"

Message Received.

If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything, is ready, we shall never begin.

- Ivan Turgenev, novelist, poet, playwright

Living Within Today

Sometimes it seems like we're always putting off our goals until some vague time in the future called "Once". "Once the New Year rolls around...", "Once I have my new job...", "Once I retire...", "Once the kids are in school...", "Once the kids are OUT of school..." Sound familiar? By waiting for Once to get here, we waste time and frustrate our desire to do what we really want. It's a fact of life that every time one potential distraction disappears, it's quickly replaced with a new one. There will always be something that can stand in your way - if you let it. Ask yourself: are these distractions real reasons, or just good excuses for putting something off? Goals cannot be started in the future. The laws of time and nature dictate that you can only act in the present. You are here, today. So are your goals. The only good time to start is right now.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

3 Years

Today marks 3 years since I lost my Dad. In some ways I am still so lost. In other ways life has forced me to move forward, at times, kicking and screaming. My lack of blogging is just another symptom of my grief. I don't have the words or the desire to write the words. It's a slow process, creating a new life without a loved one in it. There is no timetable or schedule to follow. Each person recovers and adapts at their own pace. The emptiness and loss does not lessen with time. We just build up a tolerance for it.

My intention is to Blog more often, not just pictures and quips but actual blogs. I think writing will help me on my path back to truly living instead of existing and enduring each day. I'm going to try. I know he would want me too. Just be patient with me. I do still check your blogs even if I don't comment, I stop by to visit.

I know there are things that I've done that he's disappointed in and others he is proud of or at least he would be if he was still here. I know that he has moved beyond such petty things as pride and disappointment-where he is, there is only love, no judgement. I know he sends me signs that he is still watching over me and although I want so much more, it will have to do.

I love you Daddy with all my heart and I miss you every single day of my life. Please continue to guide me and let me know you're around. Some days that's all that keeps me going.

What is she thinking?

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