Thursday, March 02, 2006

Scare Tactics

Move over Doherty, bubye Baldwin. I am the queen of Scare Tactics.

I knew my son was more than nervous, when I told him in my "calmer than I really felt" demeaner I was calling DSS in the morning.

He called me from school today to ask if I had called yet.

He called me when he got to Grampas to ask again.

He asked how my day was going.

I told him not so good, I had spent most of the day researching Military schools, boots camps and residental programs for troubled teens. I actually heard the "GULP".

Then finally! I got what I was waiting for: "Well, please at least give me a week to change my attitude". I silently did the "YES!" maneuver. "But how many opportunities do you need to change your attitude? I can't take it anymore son". This was just for emphasis to let him know how serious I was. A little more begging and an "I'll think about it" for good measure.

No matter how much he puffs up his still hairless chest or how grown up he feels, it's still a big bad scary world outside Momma's house. He knows it, I know it. He's going to push the limits, I understand this. I won't tolerate disrespect though. Although he towers over me now by several inches, I brought him into this world and I will sure as hell take him out.

He found the line and is backing away slowly.

Oh, and I'm not stopping to buy a bottle of Bacardi on the way home?


KFarmer said...

Now that's MY GIRL!!

Chunks said...

Wow, I miss your blog for a day and all hell breaks loose!

Kids will push, that is for sure. You have a son, I think you are lucky. I have two daughters. My life has been nothing but push push push since I pushed them into this world!!

Good luck with the battle. If it is any consolation, boys seem to love their mamas wayyy more than girls love their mamas! Stay strong. It will be better when he is 25.

Sharfa said...

Thank you.

Chunks - I am grateful that I had a boy. I don't think I'd be able to handle periods, training bras, mood swings and boys. Girls grow up so much faster these days, and they can be so catty! wink, wink, nod nod. Plus what they want to wear! Holy Moses! All boys want to wear are hoodies & baggy jeans to hide their erections! God Bless you, you must have the patience of a Saint.