I have some news....I'm not going to share it just yet.
Possibly by Friday or Saturday - when it actually happens.
NO, I am not pregnant. Good God, you people.
It's good news, not that being pregnant wouldn't be....especially since it would have been an immaculate conception if I were.
It's something that I have been thinking about for quite some time now, though I am not sure that I have mentioned it here.
Dare to take a guess?
I predict Kfarmer will be the first to guess correctly.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Friday, September 16, 2005
It's a wonder I get any work done
I am not obsessed
seriously
I just like the show
and Sawyer....mmMmMmMmMmm Saywer
Oh yes, quite yummy.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Diary of a Manipulative Mom
I had a goal this weekend. I had a goal to clean off my porch which had accumulated so much stuff it was difficult to get from the front door to the back. I had a goal to clean out the shed. I had a goal to get rid of all my unused and unwanted stuff that was just taking up space. I was determined to reach that goal.
I knew I couldn't do it alone - it was a big job. I had to figure a way of getting help to do a tough, dirty, sweaty job that had to be done. The only help in sight was my son, his friend, and his friend's brother and sister that were hanging around playing.
I announced my plans. I promised some kind of reward, whether it be pizza or burgers & dogs....I stopped short of cash - teens are expensive these days. The four agreed to help. The 6th grade sister of the friend claimed she didn't need a reward, she liked cleaning. I liked this girl.
We dug in with vigor. I handed item after item and directed which pile it would go to: shed, trash or give away. Things moved fairly quickly. A half hour passed and there were was the discovery of a couple water guns beneath the boxes of Christmas decorations, clothes and books. The boys proceeded to do what boys will do while, I'll call her "J", and I continued to sort. "Boys can't pay attention for very long. They get bored so easy...Unless they are playing video games". This was one sharp little girl. Did I say I liked her?
I gave them a break for a bit and hung up some laundry. J parked herself on the grass and chatted with me while I did. The late summer heat forced sweat on my brow. The sounds of boys giving chase and laughter wafted on the slight breeze. It was a moment I paused and relished. I will not have many of these days left. I have not had enough of these days.
My son doesn't have a lot of friends. It seemed, that any time he made a friend in our neighborhood the Munster children next door got a hold of them and turned them away from my son. (I should interject that I live next door to the neighbors from hell - A Grandmother, Mother and 5 children living in a two bedroom, 14x72 mobile home. I have more horror stories than Steven King. Someday I will tell them to you). It was nice that he had re-connected with this particular boy. He is polite and softspoken, as are his brother and sister. I could tell from their interaction that they come from a family of love. Being told that they were going to host a family made homeless by Katrina only confirmed this.
Once the laundry was done, I put everyone back on task, the first of many times. Four hours later, we were done. The kids had a nice seating area where they could watch TV and play video games and I had a clean porch and shed.
I then moved indoors to empty the dishwasher and clean off some counters. I was followed by my ragged troop. They settled down to watch a movie while I kept working. I set to the counters, once the sink and dishwasher were empty. A generous spray of cleaner on the empty counter drew J like a moth to a flame. She stood in front of me with eager eyes. My hand held the sponge in midair. Our eyes met.....She was like a rabbit eyeing a carrot. "You want.." "Yes please!" She wasn't kidding when she said she liked to clean. I really like this girl. I wonder if she'd like to adopted.
Once everything was complete, we were still all hot and sweaty. What's the best thing on a hot summer day after working hard? Besides, an ice cold beer.
Second choice? ICE CREAM of course! A phone call home to get Mom's approval and we were off. I took them to a local place where the regular sized cones of homemade ice cream are so huge that a cup is mandatory with your cone. I swear a regular contains an entire pint of ice cream. I couldn't even finish a kiddy cone!
The five of us claimed a picnic table and indulged. Farts (not me of course!), giggles, general silliness and sloppy full faced ice cream bowl dives ensued. What? You think I was going to let them in my new car with drippy, melting ice cream??? As we enjoyed our cool summery goodness. I thanked them all for their tremendous efforts and saw each of them blush, when I said I couldn't have gotten it done without such a great team of hardworking kids.
Once home, they each went off with their bag of treasures: 4 models, a rabbit fur coat half eaten by the squirrels that got into the shed, a black dry erase board and markers, and an old SuperNintendo with games.
What makes the entire day extra special is that my son hadn't had any meds. Medication that helps him lead a normal life. Medication that allows him to think before he acts. Medication that I should have mailed away for sooner. I was waiting on a delayed mail order that would be delivered Monday. I was responsible for him not having any medication for that day. A point he voiced loud and often when I reprimanded him. I chose to save the one day of meds I had for Monday so he wouldn't have to miss school. There were trying moments where I had to reel my son in for his hyper, out of control behavior. There were moments where I had to shout at his cursing because he was showing off for others, trying to be the tough guy. I bit my tongue so hard it bled and I pulled patience up from the tips of my toes that I didn't even know was there. I overlooked a lot, including the fact that he took full advantage of the fact to behave badly. He knew it too, he didn't protest much when I said it was time for everyone to go home and the day was done.
I may have overlooked, but I did not forget. I would not let him forget either. I would deal with his transgressions Monday, when we were both better able to discuss them. Then we will move on.
It was a long, hard day with lots of bad, and good. The good is what I want to remember 5 years from now.
I knew I couldn't do it alone - it was a big job. I had to figure a way of getting help to do a tough, dirty, sweaty job that had to be done. The only help in sight was my son, his friend, and his friend's brother and sister that were hanging around playing.
I announced my plans. I promised some kind of reward, whether it be pizza or burgers & dogs....I stopped short of cash - teens are expensive these days. The four agreed to help. The 6th grade sister of the friend claimed she didn't need a reward, she liked cleaning. I liked this girl.
We dug in with vigor. I handed item after item and directed which pile it would go to: shed, trash or give away. Things moved fairly quickly. A half hour passed and there were was the discovery of a couple water guns beneath the boxes of Christmas decorations, clothes and books. The boys proceeded to do what boys will do while, I'll call her "J", and I continued to sort. "Boys can't pay attention for very long. They get bored so easy...Unless they are playing video games". This was one sharp little girl. Did I say I liked her?
I gave them a break for a bit and hung up some laundry. J parked herself on the grass and chatted with me while I did. The late summer heat forced sweat on my brow. The sounds of boys giving chase and laughter wafted on the slight breeze. It was a moment I paused and relished. I will not have many of these days left. I have not had enough of these days.
My son doesn't have a lot of friends. It seemed, that any time he made a friend in our neighborhood the Munster children next door got a hold of them and turned them away from my son. (I should interject that I live next door to the neighbors from hell - A Grandmother, Mother and 5 children living in a two bedroom, 14x72 mobile home. I have more horror stories than Steven King. Someday I will tell them to you). It was nice that he had re-connected with this particular boy. He is polite and softspoken, as are his brother and sister. I could tell from their interaction that they come from a family of love. Being told that they were going to host a family made homeless by Katrina only confirmed this.
Once the laundry was done, I put everyone back on task, the first of many times. Four hours later, we were done. The kids had a nice seating area where they could watch TV and play video games and I had a clean porch and shed.
I then moved indoors to empty the dishwasher and clean off some counters. I was followed by my ragged troop. They settled down to watch a movie while I kept working. I set to the counters, once the sink and dishwasher were empty. A generous spray of cleaner on the empty counter drew J like a moth to a flame. She stood in front of me with eager eyes. My hand held the sponge in midair. Our eyes met.....She was like a rabbit eyeing a carrot. "You want.." "Yes please!" She wasn't kidding when she said she liked to clean. I really like this girl. I wonder if she'd like to adopted.
Once everything was complete, we were still all hot and sweaty. What's the best thing on a hot summer day after working hard? Besides, an ice cold beer.
Second choice? ICE CREAM of course! A phone call home to get Mom's approval and we were off. I took them to a local place where the regular sized cones of homemade ice cream are so huge that a cup is mandatory with your cone. I swear a regular contains an entire pint of ice cream. I couldn't even finish a kiddy cone!
The five of us claimed a picnic table and indulged. Farts (not me of course!), giggles, general silliness and sloppy full faced ice cream bowl dives ensued. What? You think I was going to let them in my new car with drippy, melting ice cream??? As we enjoyed our cool summery goodness. I thanked them all for their tremendous efforts and saw each of them blush, when I said I couldn't have gotten it done without such a great team of hardworking kids.
Once home, they each went off with their bag of treasures: 4 models, a rabbit fur coat half eaten by the squirrels that got into the shed, a black dry erase board and markers, and an old SuperNintendo with games.
What makes the entire day extra special is that my son hadn't had any meds. Medication that helps him lead a normal life. Medication that allows him to think before he acts. Medication that I should have mailed away for sooner. I was waiting on a delayed mail order that would be delivered Monday. I was responsible for him not having any medication for that day. A point he voiced loud and often when I reprimanded him. I chose to save the one day of meds I had for Monday so he wouldn't have to miss school. There were trying moments where I had to reel my son in for his hyper, out of control behavior. There were moments where I had to shout at his cursing because he was showing off for others, trying to be the tough guy. I bit my tongue so hard it bled and I pulled patience up from the tips of my toes that I didn't even know was there. I overlooked a lot, including the fact that he took full advantage of the fact to behave badly. He knew it too, he didn't protest much when I said it was time for everyone to go home and the day was done.
I may have overlooked, but I did not forget. I would not let him forget either. I would deal with his transgressions Monday, when we were both better able to discuss them. Then we will move on.
It was a long, hard day with lots of bad, and good. The good is what I want to remember 5 years from now.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Tagged
For the first time - I have been tagged.
This is a fun one though, at least I don't have to come up with witty remarks about the last book I read!
Thanks for being gentle with me KFarmer
10 years ago: A year and a half after my divorce. Trudging along at my part-time UPS job, making ends meet. My son started kindergarten, Grandpa was there for his first day, there were tears. Optimistic about life & the future, 31 years old and in the best physical shape of my life - I was pretty hot. I'll have to post a PIC sometime to prove it.
5 years ago: On the brink of bankruptcy. Depressed & 60 pounds heavier after coming out of a really, really bad relationship. Managing as best I can as a Mom. He is 10 now, still quite manageable and a good kid.
1 Year ago. I finally paid off all my credit card debt! Woo Hoo! 3 years at my new job and I love it! Maybe next year I can buy a car?! One more debt to go first. Maybe now I can start thinking about me and taking better care of my self, lose some weight. Son has decided he knows everything there is to know and I have become the dumbest person in existence. He has developed a mouth on him that I'd like to duct tape shut at times. I wish his father would visit more consistently.
Yesterday: Was awoken at 5 AM by son getting in the shower. He's a sophomore now. When did that happen? He's taller than I am, good looking, too smart for his own good. He informed that there are a lot of "hot" freshman girls this year. Help me! Drove to work in my 2 month new car with the rocking stereo cranked up playing a CD I created with music for my Grandfathers memorial DVD. Stopped by and visited with my Grandmother after work. Watched Blade Trinity with my son and his friend after supper. Fell asleep on the couch. Life is so much better now. All I have to do is get my ass in gear and get fit!
Five songs I know all the words to- Stevie Nicks:Leather & Lace, Oh Danny Boy, Nickelback: Neveragain, Sarah McLaughlin:Angel, John Denver:grandma's Feather Bed
5 Snacks: chips & salsa, cheese & crackers, popcorn, chocolate & fruit salad.
5 Things I'd do w/ $100 million dollars: Build my subterranean energy efficient dream home. Renovate and donate my current home to a family devastated by Katrina. Pay all my bills. Retire my parents to Florida. Invest & save.
5 places I would run away to: Ireland, Hawaii (on the same island they film Lost, of course), Alaska (during the 6 months of daylight), Colorado, a private Caribbean island all my own.
5 things I would never wear: Sox with sandals! Puuullease!, tube tops (a banana hammock for breasts), fur (only faux!), print pants, muumuus.
5 favorite TV shows: Lost, House, Buffy, Stargate SG-1, Extreme Home Makeover, Anything Star Trek (I know, that's 6, it's just too hard to choose!)
5 greatest joys: (other than my son)-gardening, crafting, motorcycle rides, reading, the love of a pet.
5 favorite toys: car, PC, DVD player.......I need more toys.
5 people I'm tagging: MM (Sorry, but I see a very entertaining post in this one), Izchan, Batonga, Joseph K & Rurality. Please, only if it will be fun for you, don't feel obligated.
This is a fun one though, at least I don't have to come up with witty remarks about the last book I read!
Thanks for being gentle with me KFarmer
10 years ago: A year and a half after my divorce. Trudging along at my part-time UPS job, making ends meet. My son started kindergarten, Grandpa was there for his first day, there were tears. Optimistic about life & the future, 31 years old and in the best physical shape of my life - I was pretty hot. I'll have to post a PIC sometime to prove it.
5 years ago: On the brink of bankruptcy. Depressed & 60 pounds heavier after coming out of a really, really bad relationship. Managing as best I can as a Mom. He is 10 now, still quite manageable and a good kid.
1 Year ago. I finally paid off all my credit card debt! Woo Hoo! 3 years at my new job and I love it! Maybe next year I can buy a car?! One more debt to go first. Maybe now I can start thinking about me and taking better care of my self, lose some weight. Son has decided he knows everything there is to know and I have become the dumbest person in existence. He has developed a mouth on him that I'd like to duct tape shut at times. I wish his father would visit more consistently.
Yesterday: Was awoken at 5 AM by son getting in the shower. He's a sophomore now. When did that happen? He's taller than I am, good looking, too smart for his own good. He informed that there are a lot of "hot" freshman girls this year. Help me! Drove to work in my 2 month new car with the rocking stereo cranked up playing a CD I created with music for my Grandfathers memorial DVD. Stopped by and visited with my Grandmother after work. Watched Blade Trinity with my son and his friend after supper. Fell asleep on the couch. Life is so much better now. All I have to do is get my ass in gear and get fit!
Five songs I know all the words to- Stevie Nicks:Leather & Lace, Oh Danny Boy, Nickelback: Neveragain, Sarah McLaughlin:Angel, John Denver:grandma's Feather Bed
5 Snacks: chips & salsa, cheese & crackers, popcorn, chocolate & fruit salad.
5 Things I'd do w/ $100 million dollars: Build my subterranean energy efficient dream home. Renovate and donate my current home to a family devastated by Katrina. Pay all my bills. Retire my parents to Florida. Invest & save.
5 places I would run away to: Ireland, Hawaii (on the same island they film Lost, of course), Alaska (during the 6 months of daylight), Colorado, a private Caribbean island all my own.
5 things I would never wear: Sox with sandals! Puuullease!, tube tops (a banana hammock for breasts), fur (only faux!), print pants, muumuus.
5 favorite TV shows: Lost, House, Buffy, Stargate SG-1, Extreme Home Makeover, Anything Star Trek (I know, that's 6, it's just too hard to choose!)
5 greatest joys: (other than my son)-gardening, crafting, motorcycle rides, reading, the love of a pet.
5 favorite toys: car, PC, DVD player.......I need more toys.
5 people I'm tagging: MM (Sorry, but I see a very entertaining post in this one), Izchan, Batonga, Joseph K & Rurality. Please, only if it will be fun for you, don't feel obligated.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Spammers Suck
My apologies for having to word verify comments. I have become the victim of spammers and it was necessary.
A Brief Glimpse
My favorite photo
I wanted to share a bit of what has been occupying my time recently. I had trouble figuring out how to post multiple pics to one post, instead I have 4 posts with pics. I'll figure out how to do that later.
This is my fav pic of my Grandfather when he was younger, about 22 here, 1940. This looks so gangsta to me. It looks like he's saying "I'd like to make you an offer you can't refuse.." And...yes, that is a picture of his mother on the table.
1991
My son with his Great-Grandfather.
My son was a year old in this pic. It was taken at my parents place in Maine. I love how they are looking at each other.
Friday, September 02, 2005
Life
I've been busier than a bee in a field of flowers. That's my excuse for not posting. At least the OT is good. 50 hours last week, and that was with taking Monday to go to my Great Aunts funeral. I'll be working over the weekend as well. I've fallen behind at work with vacation and a week off for my Grandfathers passing. Putting out fires and taking care of urgent matters have put me even more behind in my regular work.
There are big changes afoot as well. My boss is moving to England next week. I will become the contact person for our office and responsible for wrapping up the end of our NSF (National Science Foundation) funding. All of our Directors accounts are being moved to me, as well as our Co-Directors. I will be losing approximately 10 accounts and taking on 20-30 more. It's a great opportunity for me to step up to the plate, learn new things, grow, and hopefully shine. I just hope I don't fall flat on my face. I'll just try and go with the flow and do the best I can. Luckily, I have a great support system and knowledgeable people I can turn to.
I've been visiting my Grandmother after work almost every day. After 63 years of marriage, I cannot even fathom what she is going through. On more than one occasion, she had said: "I can't believe he's gone". I sit and talk with her about her day. I cry with her. I listen. I encourage. I let her know how much I love her. I let her know she is not alone. All I can do is be there for her.
She told me how she was napping in her rocker/recliner and was woken up by someone grabbing her toes. She is extremely ticklish in her feet and hates having her toes touched. I know this for a fact.
I was about 12 years old when I was sitting on the floor at her feet and I started tickling her. She grabbed a hold of my ponytails (hey, it was 1975!), and started pulling and shouting. The more I tickled, the harder she pulled and the louder she shouted. I was laughing so hard I couldn't stop. It was an AFV moment for sure.
Anyway, my parents were both working and there was no one else in the house. I told her it was Papa teasing her by grabbing at her toes. She agreed. It was something so very typical of my Grandfather. She went on to say that she can't believe that he is laying there in the cemetery. At that point, we both had tears running down our faces. I told her: "He isn't there, he's here. He's young again and at peace. He's watching over you, making sure you're OK, letting you know he's OK".
A day or two later she told me how she had shut off the bedroom light and went to the kitchen. She then noticed the bedroom light was on again. It may or may not be true but, I have a feeling that, my Grandfather is going to be blamed for similar occurrences in the future. She still comes out with many humorous quips and has that sparkle in her eye. She is coping as best she can, that is all anyone can ask.
Once home from work, I've been doing the regular stuff (laundry, cleaning, cooking dinner & cleaning up), then getting on the PC to scan and edit pictures for the tribute DVD I am working on. Do you have any idea how time consuming that is? It's a long process to scan, edit and figure out dates for photographs, some dating back to the 20's and 30's. It's especially tough with the older albums that I have to scan. The pictures are pasted to the albums and it takes several scans to get one page completed. I'm up to about 400 pictures now, with many more to go. In my spare time (right! My lunch breaks at work), I have compiled about 17 songs for the background music. I only hope I can actually do what I've envisioned. I've never created a photo DVD before. I pray the software I have is compatible and user friendly enough for me to make it all come together.
It has been a labor of love, perhaps even a coping mechanism for my grief. Looking at captured moments in time, from the 87 years of my Grandfathers life, I have learned more about him in the last 3 weeks than I had in the 41 years of mine.
I never felt like my Grandfather was an affectionate man. I felt there was a wall between us, or that he kept a certain distance. Perhaps it was because of his upbringing. I have been told that his mother was a very tough woman. You'd have to be, to raise 7 children during the Depression era. Maybe it was losing two brothers in World War II. Maybe it was just the way he was.
He never failed to help out a family member in need. I lived with my Grandparents for a few years during my most rebellious period, much to parents disapproval. He bailed me, and other family out financially, on more than one occasion. He would help out anyone that asked, yet never asked for help himself. Paradoxically, he was both generous and miserly. He donated to his church weekly, yet bought the cheapest cut of steak, when he could afford sirloin. He would give you the shirt off his back to help you, while simultaneously voicing judgment. He would criticize often and praise rarely. He was intelligent, honest and hard working. He was stubborn and opinionated. He had a strong religious faith and was passionate in his beliefs. He was a voracious reader and had a thirst for knowledge. He felt a sense of duty and community. He was always active and involved in various organizations. I don't think I ever heard him grumble about his life, not once, no matter how bad things were. Even when he was enduring radiation treatments and dying from cancer - he never complained. He was a complex man, he was a good man.
I have discovered: although he rarely expressed his love, affection or pride in his offspring's accomplishments - it was there. It's there in the photographs and items he squirreled away over the years. The newspaper cuttings, report cards, photo albums and documents have shown me a side of my Grandfather I never knew existed. It is more than the residual packrat compulsion of growing up without, during the Depression. He saved what was important to him. His interest in photography was more than a hobby, it was his way of capturing the moments that mattered to him. He recorded every birth, graduation, marriage, holiday, birthday, anniversary or event of his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren in volumes of albums.
What he seemingly couldn't express to those he loved in life, he has shown in the pieces he cherished and saved. Pride, protectiveness and love ran deeply within my Grandfather.
I miss his presence. A presence I didn't truly appreciate while I had the chance.
There are big changes afoot as well. My boss is moving to England next week. I will become the contact person for our office and responsible for wrapping up the end of our NSF (National Science Foundation) funding. All of our Directors accounts are being moved to me, as well as our Co-Directors. I will be losing approximately 10 accounts and taking on 20-30 more. It's a great opportunity for me to step up to the plate, learn new things, grow, and hopefully shine. I just hope I don't fall flat on my face. I'll just try and go with the flow and do the best I can. Luckily, I have a great support system and knowledgeable people I can turn to.
I've been visiting my Grandmother after work almost every day. After 63 years of marriage, I cannot even fathom what she is going through. On more than one occasion, she had said: "I can't believe he's gone". I sit and talk with her about her day. I cry with her. I listen. I encourage. I let her know how much I love her. I let her know she is not alone. All I can do is be there for her.
She told me how she was napping in her rocker/recliner and was woken up by someone grabbing her toes. She is extremely ticklish in her feet and hates having her toes touched. I know this for a fact.
I was about 12 years old when I was sitting on the floor at her feet and I started tickling her. She grabbed a hold of my ponytails (hey, it was 1975!), and started pulling and shouting. The more I tickled, the harder she pulled and the louder she shouted. I was laughing so hard I couldn't stop. It was an AFV moment for sure.
Anyway, my parents were both working and there was no one else in the house. I told her it was Papa teasing her by grabbing at her toes. She agreed. It was something so very typical of my Grandfather. She went on to say that she can't believe that he is laying there in the cemetery. At that point, we both had tears running down our faces. I told her: "He isn't there, he's here. He's young again and at peace. He's watching over you, making sure you're OK, letting you know he's OK".
A day or two later she told me how she had shut off the bedroom light and went to the kitchen. She then noticed the bedroom light was on again. It may or may not be true but, I have a feeling that, my Grandfather is going to be blamed for similar occurrences in the future. She still comes out with many humorous quips and has that sparkle in her eye. She is coping as best she can, that is all anyone can ask.
Once home from work, I've been doing the regular stuff (laundry, cleaning, cooking dinner & cleaning up), then getting on the PC to scan and edit pictures for the tribute DVD I am working on. Do you have any idea how time consuming that is? It's a long process to scan, edit and figure out dates for photographs, some dating back to the 20's and 30's. It's especially tough with the older albums that I have to scan. The pictures are pasted to the albums and it takes several scans to get one page completed. I'm up to about 400 pictures now, with many more to go. In my spare time (right! My lunch breaks at work), I have compiled about 17 songs for the background music. I only hope I can actually do what I've envisioned. I've never created a photo DVD before. I pray the software I have is compatible and user friendly enough for me to make it all come together.
It has been a labor of love, perhaps even a coping mechanism for my grief. Looking at captured moments in time, from the 87 years of my Grandfathers life, I have learned more about him in the last 3 weeks than I had in the 41 years of mine.
I never felt like my Grandfather was an affectionate man. I felt there was a wall between us, or that he kept a certain distance. Perhaps it was because of his upbringing. I have been told that his mother was a very tough woman. You'd have to be, to raise 7 children during the Depression era. Maybe it was losing two brothers in World War II. Maybe it was just the way he was.
He never failed to help out a family member in need. I lived with my Grandparents for a few years during my most rebellious period, much to parents disapproval. He bailed me, and other family out financially, on more than one occasion. He would help out anyone that asked, yet never asked for help himself. Paradoxically, he was both generous and miserly. He donated to his church weekly, yet bought the cheapest cut of steak, when he could afford sirloin. He would give you the shirt off his back to help you, while simultaneously voicing judgment. He would criticize often and praise rarely. He was intelligent, honest and hard working. He was stubborn and opinionated. He had a strong religious faith and was passionate in his beliefs. He was a voracious reader and had a thirst for knowledge. He felt a sense of duty and community. He was always active and involved in various organizations. I don't think I ever heard him grumble about his life, not once, no matter how bad things were. Even when he was enduring radiation treatments and dying from cancer - he never complained. He was a complex man, he was a good man.
I have discovered: although he rarely expressed his love, affection or pride in his offspring's accomplishments - it was there. It's there in the photographs and items he squirreled away over the years. The newspaper cuttings, report cards, photo albums and documents have shown me a side of my Grandfather I never knew existed. It is more than the residual packrat compulsion of growing up without, during the Depression. He saved what was important to him. His interest in photography was more than a hobby, it was his way of capturing the moments that mattered to him. He recorded every birth, graduation, marriage, holiday, birthday, anniversary or event of his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren in volumes of albums.
What he seemingly couldn't express to those he loved in life, he has shown in the pieces he cherished and saved. Pride, protectiveness and love ran deeply within my Grandfather.
I miss his presence. A presence I didn't truly appreciate while I had the chance.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)