Today marks 3 years since I lost my Dad. In some ways I am still so lost. In other ways life has forced me to move forward, at times, kicking and screaming. My lack of blogging is just another symptom of my grief. I don't have the words or the desire to write the words. It's a slow process, creating a new life without a loved one in it. There is no timetable or schedule to follow. Each person recovers and adapts at their own pace. The emptiness and loss does not lessen with time. We just build up a tolerance for it.
My intention is to Blog more often, not just pictures and quips but actual blogs. I think writing will help me on my path back to truly living instead of existing and enduring each day. I'm going to try. I know he would want me too. Just be patient with me. I do still check your blogs even if I don't comment, I stop by to visit.
I know there are things that I've done that he's disappointed in and others he is proud of or at least he would be if he was still here. I know that he has moved beyond such petty things as pride and disappointment-where he is, there is only love, no judgement. I know he sends me signs that he is still watching over me and although I want so much more, it will have to do.
I love you Daddy with all my heart and I miss you every single day of my life. Please continue to guide me and let me know you're around. Some days that's all that keeps me going.