Thursday, March 15, 2007

Before KFarmer calls the search party

I'm still alive. It's just been a hellacious few weeks.

I stayed home with my son when he was on Feb vacation. I planned to work from home all week, but you know how that goes. So I had to bust butt the week I came back and the I ended up having to serve jury duty for 5 days last week. Jury duty was interesting, it was a civil case and it deserves it's own blog.

I came back to work this week and there is an emergency push on a proposal to get it through. There is a lot to this that I really can't go into. The goings on at work have not been all that great and I'm not feeling too good about it.

Son is home alone today due to a 'teacher professional day'. I'm sorry - but with only 180 'teaching' days in the school year - why don't they do their 'professional days' during the summer? Son being home alone all day is stress enough, since I cannot trust him as far as I can throw him. He's gotten himself into trouble lately and my hair is going grayer by the minute.

Dad is, well, Dad isn't doing so great. He had an additional 16 (I think) radiation treatments to his chest. He's maxed out for radiation now. He's on the pill form of chemotherapy which carries more side effects. His CEA Count is over 100, just a short time ago it was below 20. He has no strength whatsoever. He has trouble just getting up from a sitting position. He's going for an MRI on his spine today. The Doc told him it's time he stopped working. He has had a helper as of late. The main reason he's continued is financial. They need the cash flow.

I feel for my Mom. She's very depressed. It's true that ignorance is bliss. Being an RN, she knows what's going on and what's coming, she's seen the patients at the hospital. She's watching her husbands body be ravaged by the treatments and the disease.

Things will have to start moving on selling Maine. They've already asked me if I want some things from there, which is bittersweet. It's a full house and will involve moving a lot of furniture etc., cleaning out their shed at home and storing what will fit. They are inevitable tasks that I'm dreading doing for so many reasons.

I apologize for my absence. Sometimes just getting through the day is all I have in me, barely. Just an example of how things are so not going my way: I made an appointment with my therapist and then I got a letter from the office that he was taking a leave of absence. His sweetie has ALS and he's taking care of her. I can't seem to win.

I do miss you, Dear blog, and I'll do what I can to post.


James Cooper said...

I'm sorry things have been so rough for quite a while now. It's difficult when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, or you can't even be sure there is one. Somehow things have got to get better though, sooner or later.

Here's wishing you all the best for sooner rather than later.

Suldog said...

With all else going on, please take the time to care for yourself, too. Aside from not wanting to get so run down that you hurt yourself inadvertently, some other folks may need your strength.

Prayers offered for you and yours, as always.

Denise said...

I wish things were going better for you. But suldog is right; don't forget to take care of yourself too. Your heart is also breaking. It's bittersweet but, it does seem to be the season of transition.

You and your family are in my thoughts.

KFarmer said...

I'm so sorry sweet- I knew by your lack of posts and other things that life was not going your way and you know me, I worry. I let things slide for a while, but I needed to see your words, if not hear your voice- thank you.

Darlin,you don't have to spill the beans- it may be too difficult, but please know if there is any way I can help during this (putting it mildly) difficult time, it will be done-

I may be off, but I feel that you think you are alone- YOU ARE NOT. Do I need to repeat that woman? It may be small consulation, but you have one crazy red-head from Mid-Ga. who adores you- and prays for you and your family every night.

Chunks said...

If you have Site Meter, you can see how often I check here to see if you have posted.

Where to begin?

Suldog is right, you do need to take care of yourself. Even if the smallest of ways, it will make a big difference.

We are here for you if you are ready. I've found blogging to be the best therapy in the world, and it's cheap too.

I couldn't help but have to stiffle a little giggle about the therapist. It reminded me of "What About Bob" starring Bill Murray when his therapist pawns him off on Richard Dreyfuss and he follows him to the Hamptons and although he is terminally afraid of everything, goes sailing by getting strapped to the bow of a yacht all the while yelling "I'M SAILING!!!"

I guess where I am going with that is that sometimes we are our own best therapists, if we just take the time. Find some solace girl and take care. I'm an email click away...

Sharfa said...

Wanna hear something really funny?

This is the whipped cream on top - my phone was out from Sat until 9 PM last night (Tues) from the snowstorm - no dial up/no posting or reading blogs!

Plus - the next time I log into blogger, I'm going to be forced to come over to the dark side of the new blogger (I already took my freebie). I'm afraid to since I've heard about people losing their archives etc..........

Now for the cherry: Dad was just taken to the hospital because he couldn't catch his breath. It's good to have friends in town with police scanners........

Will keep you posted!