The Hierarchy

As with any animal pack, there is a hierarchy. Mine is no acception. Even though I make jokes about princesses and diva's, there are grains of truth in those titles. Though the following post may sound like a soap opera, I assure you - it's true. Anyone that has ever been owned by more than one pet will relate.

Let me start with one item of note - Dusty is a female. Yes, the vet mis-sexed her. When I first found her and looked - I thought female. The vet said male. When we were in Maine on vacation, I held Dusty, belly up, to my Mom and asked "Do you see a penis or a lil vajayjay?" She thought as I did. There were no lil hidden testacles. Doesn't give me a lot of confidence in my new vet. Son just chimed in with "Another girl?" He lives in a home of 5 females, he's a bit outnumbered.

I am the Pack Leader of this crew. Everyone knows I am the Alpha Female, or The Boss, everyone except my 17 year old son. That's OK though, he's the fledgling male of this bunch. He's about to leave the nest. Unless he changes his attitude, he's going to be pushed from this nest, fledged or not.

Now, onto the pack standing.

I consider Cuddles the Queen Mum. She's been around the longest, she's either 20 or 21 - we're not certain. My Bro found her in a dumpster in his Jr. year of highschool, that's also the year he repeated. Hence the confusion. She has no real power. She is old. She just wants to live out her days in peace and comfort. She's earned it.

Tabitha is the princess. She's spoiled and feels she deserves all the attention. She self righteously feels that she is the only one qualified to torment the Queen Mum. Tabitha has begrudgingly allowed Julieta to remain, only because Julieta obeys her commands and stays out of her way.

All has been quiet and harmonious in our little kingdom until, Dusty.

Dusty is a usurper. Dusty has upset the delicate balance of things. Dusty doesn't give a shit about a hierarchy. Dusty is here to party, and wreak havoc. Dusty takes great delight in tormenting the Princess, she's the only one that fights back.

The Queen Mum made her position known from the beginning. Pretty much a "Don't Fuck with ME" stance. I like her style, lay down the rules from the beginning. Dusty got the message. Other than running back and forth from the bedroom and leaping over the Queen Mum in the hallway, just brushing her fur, Dusty basically leaves her alone. It's actually pretty funny to watch. Poor old Cuddles is hard of hearing and doesn't hear Dusty coming. By the time Cuddles hisses, Dusty is in the living room, only to repeat the process while heading towards my bedroom.

Julieta was heartbroken and insulted by the hostile reception she received from the new addition. She hung her head with rejection and retreated to her den. Dusty realized that Julieta wasn't going to eat her and has since decided that Julieta's tail is a most interesting prey - as long as the big threat; the teeth, are facing the other way. Dusty even became so brazen as to attack Julieta's tail when she was laying on the couch. Julieta wasn't in the mood for the sharp claws and made her feelings known by a growl and jab. Dusty's response was to turn her back against the couch (if I can't see the dog - she can't see me) and continue her assault. I was proud of her for setting some limits with a second, firmer, vocal admonition. There was nothing predatory in her action, just a "back off, bitch" message. Julieta has even expressed some playful interest by approaching Dusty with a wagging tail and playful stance. I've seen her attempt this with the other felines, rejection was all she got, and she immediately backed off. Dusty still isn't sure of Julieta's intentions and responds by becoming a Halloween cat. Kind of a joke at her size, even when turned sideways with a fluffy tail. I have a feeling this will change in the future. Being the two with the least seniority in the pack, I have a feeling they will become the best of friends.

Tabitha, on the other hand, had a "hissy" fit when Dusty arrived. Tabitha would hiss and run away. It took her a few days before she came out of the bedroom. Bad move on her part, gave up her power.

Dusty has become the Court Jester. Or, as my son referred to her this morning, "The Blue Collar Comedy Tour". She takes great pleasure in tormenting Tabitha on her thrown (the back of the recliner - the "highest" position in the living room). The taunts range from simple jumping and touching to all out pounces during naps.

Yes, the fur has flown.

Cat fights sound much worse than they actually are. Tabitha, being part Siamese, is especially vocal. The fights are, at times, so loud as to draw my son away from his video game. He appears from his room, eyes wide, wondering if he will find blood spatter on the walls. He's amazed at the ferocious sounding encounters.

I've only found the need to intervene with Dusty's behavior on a few occasions. Any interest in my bird (or Mom's Cockatiel when on vacation), has been met with a couple quick streams from a water spray bottle. I once found her hanging from the side of the bakers rack I have my birdcage on. Bird squawks alerted me. I always have the spray bottle handy and nailed her twice. She hasn't seemed to bother Galileo since, although, I don't know what happens when I am not at home. In Maine, after the first squirt - just the sound would cause "kitty burn out" ( the art of tearing up the floor trying to gain traction from back feet moving so fast). On vacation, Dusty spent her nights in a bedroom with me and Julieta. Julieta had one of two twin beds in the room. The second night, I had to put Dusty in her carrier because she wouldn't settle down. After that, she would go into purr mode and knew it was time to sleep. When we returned from vacation, I had to put Dusty in her carrier at 11:30 PM on the first night because she wouldn't stop harrassing the other felines. She spent the night there, on the bed with me. The next night, when the same behavior ensued, I put her in the bathroom with a litter box. Since then, she knows that when I go to bed - playtime is over. She's a smart kitty. There are going to be problems though, until Tabitha asserts herself.

I never thought of Tabitha as insecure, until now. She seeks more attention and affection to be assured of her position, which I lovingly give. She needs to get over the jealousy and assert her position as Queen. I'm sure she will reach her limit at some point and lay down a beating.

Until then, I'm enjoying the antics of the Court Jester.

Queen of the Fricken Universe

Julieta may be a diva, but Tabitha is the Queen of all things.

And, you know you can never correct The Queen.

 

Ave Maria

I stole this from Heart in Hands Facebook post.
I thought it was a hoot and very interesting how iTunes shuffled my answers.
Give it a shot if you like.



RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 10 friends (make me #11 so I can see your results).
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Betty Lou's Gettin' Out Tonigh (Bob Seger)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
You're All I Have (Snow Patrol)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
I'm Lika A Bird (Nelly Furtado)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
W^O^L^D^ (Harry Chapin) "Feeling all of forty-five going on fifteen"

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Can't Get Enough of Your Love (Taylor Dane)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues (Neil Young)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Passage to Bankok (Rush)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Mississippi Queen (Mountain)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Back Off Bitch (Guns N' Roses)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays (Garth Brooks)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Wicked Garden (Stone Temple Pilots)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Hello Lonely (Theory of a Deadman)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
I'm Going Home (Hootie and the Blowfish)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Can't Get Enough of Your Love (Barry White)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Mess Around (Ray Charles) hahahahaha!

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The Angel Song (Great White)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Dancing with Tears in my Eyes (Ultravox)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
More Than a Feeling (Boston)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Girls, Girls, Girls (Motley Crew) LOL - No, I am not a lesbian

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Democracy (Dan Fogelberg)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
YYZ (Rush)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Ave Maria (Placido Domingo, Luciano Pavarati, Jose Carreras)

Scare Tactics

Move over Doherty, bubye Baldwin. I am the queen of Scare Tactics.

I knew my son was more than nervous, when I told him in my "calmer than I really felt" demeaner I was calling DSS in the morning.

He called me from school today to ask if I had called yet.

He called me when he got to Grampas to ask again.

He asked how my day was going.

I told him not so good, I had spent most of the day researching Military schools, boots camps and residental programs for troubled teens. I actually heard the "GULP".

Then finally! I got what I was waiting for: "Well, please at least give me a week to change my attitude". I silently did the "YES!" maneuver. "But how many opportunities do you need to change your attitude? I can't take it anymore son". This was just for emphasis to let him know how serious I was. A little more begging and an "I'll think about it" for good measure.

No matter how much he puffs up his still hairless chest or how grown up he feels, it's still a big bad scary world outside Momma's house. He knows it, I know it. He's going to push the limits, I understand this. I won't tolerate disrespect though. Although he towers over me now by several inches, I brought him into this world and I will sure as hell take him out.

He found the line and is backing away slowly.


Oh, and I'm not stopping to buy a bottle of Bacardi on the way home?

Road Rash

Pocket Mini Bike

My son acquired one of these about a month ago. He's been pretty good about being careful on it, at least when within sight of our home. I don't let him ride it after dark, or any main roadways. He always wears his helmet too. Good thing too - he wiped out last night. He found out that sand is slippery when you are on a bike. He tore up his elbow pretty good, and has slight road rash on his back. He's lucky. It could have been a lot worse.

Unfortunately, he doesn't see it that way. He can be such a drama queen. He almost immediately started in with being too injured to go to school tomorrow. "You'll live, you're going to be sore, but you are going to school tomorrow". That was all the sympathy I could muster for him, and it pissed him off. "Fine! Then I will go to the nurses office and stay there for the day! You'll have to come pick me up!" I wasn't taking the bait though. He actually had me put a sling on his arm because it hurt too badly to straighten it out. He was milking it, big time.

He calmed down once the adrenaline rush subsided. He soaked in a nice hot bath for a bit and felt better afterwards. Once he was convinced he didn't need stitches or hospitalization he turned his attention to the bike. It got pretty scratched up too, he believes the forks are bent - I couldn't see it. I finally told him to leave it until tomorrow because he was too shaken up to think clearly.

I've been extremely fortunate my son has never had a serious injury. The only ER trip I ever made for him was when he was 6 and hit himself in the head with the claw end of a hammer. It required 3 stitches to close. I blew the motor in my Ford Tempo doing 80 on the way to the hospital. This could have been a lot worse. A lot.

Blood an guts visions kept flashing through my head as I bandaged him up. My cool demeanor belied my inner turmoil. As parents we always want to keep our kids safe, no matter how old they are. It's not easy for a mother to let her child go. He isn't my blond little baby anymore. I couldn't just kiss it and make it better like I used to.

I said a prayer and thanked God for watching over my boy. I know his Guardian Angel works a lot of overtime, for that, I am grateful.

A Much Needed Break

I'm on vacation. We've just been hanging around the house so far this week. Tomorrow we leave to go camping in Western Mass. We will go to the Six Flags amusement park on Friday. Then hit The New England Air Museum, The Zoo in Forest Park and possibly the Yankee Candle Company the rest of the weekend.

I'd forgotten how much prep work goes in to camping, and how much 'stuff' you have to bring just for two people. Luckily, my new SUV tent was delivered today. We can bring one tent instead of two. I can sleep on an air mattress in the back of my new SUV and my son can sleep on my old queen sized air mattress bed in the tent portion. Hopefully, this will be distance enough so that, my snoring (I DO NOT!) doesn't bother him.

I have plenty of snack foods & good eats. We stopped at the library today for some reading material. I'm bringing the laptop and DVD's just in case. I'm sure the Phase 10, Yatzee, Mancala, Othello, Jotto & deck of cards will help prevent any declarations of boredom.

Hopefully, we'll both come back alive.

I need this. I need to get away from our house. I need to get away from the stress & routine. I need to do something fun with just me & my son. It's been 7 years since I've taken a real vacation away from home and not just time off filled with work around the house. I need to relax.

I hope this will be a chance to connect with my boy, to give him a break of my being on him constantly. Being an only child means you don't get away with anything. You're under the microscope constantly. We both need the break. I pray I can hold my tongue and let him be a messy, obnoxious, brain dead teenager for a few days so we can both just chill and have a good time.

My parents are on vacation in Maine. My Aunt & Uncle are Grandparent sitting. They will also be bird sitting my sassy little brat, Galileo.

My Grandfather apparently suffered a stroke Friday and has been in the hospital since. He shows signs of coherency again and will probably be moved to a nursing home. He's 87, suffering from Alzheimers for a few years and has been receiving radiation treatments for the last few weeks for a cancerous tumor near his ear.

I do not like seeing my Grandfather like this. He was always such an intelligent, vibrant, outspoken, opinionated man with a generous heart. He would give you the shirt off his back, while lecturing you on how to improve your situation. He has become a mere shadow of the man he once was over the last couple years. He became very quiet once his hearing was beyond the use of aids. He couldn't hear a conversation anymore to participate. The blank stare or joyous expression of recognition when he looked at me has torn at my heart. Alzheimers has robbed this once extremely intelligent man of the mere ability of recognizing my face. I cannot help but feel that his mind is trapped within a failing body. My heart breaks with his moments of lucidity. Is he conscious of what's happening to him? Is his mind trapped within a body that won't cooperate? Would he choose to exist like this? For, in my minds eye - this is existing, not living. This once proud man, had been reduced to needing assistance from the bed to a wheelchair to the lavatory and now to a bed and catheter, having to be spoon fed by others. Is this what he would have wanted for his twilight years? Does your perspective change as you age? Do you want to hang onto life as long as possible, no matter what?

I cannot answer for him, only for myself. I would not want to exist like that. I do not want to be a burden to my son. I do not want to be kept alive just because of the miracles of modern science. There is no quality of life there. I'd rather pull a Dr. Kevorkian while I still had the mental capacity than become a ward of Medicare and a gorked out patient in a nursing home. But that's my choice. That's my 41 year old perspective.

Yes, indeed, a vacation with me and my son is very much needed.Hugs will be had by all. Life is too short. I'll be checking out till Sunday.