A little more than 6 months ago, son was graduating from high school. Those 6 months have been the longest of my life.
You faithful friends that have given me continued support and checked here often only to find I have been MIA certainly deserve an explanation and, since most, if not all are parents, will understand why I have been MIA.
You probably got the memo about the Mustang disaster.
One of my last posts indicated I was going to attend a Halloween Party for the first time in years.
Well.........
I got a free T-Pass from work for the month of September, son was getting the privilege of dropping me off at the train station and using my car to go to work. The week before the Halloween Party, son got fired. Apparently, son wasn't always going to work.
October 30th I was up late finishing my costume. When I checked at 1:30 AM, my car was gone. Apparently, son had made a copy of my key and was stealing my car at night to go out. I had suspected, but this was the first time he got caught in the act, with the 16 year old drop out delinquent next door no less. Needless to say - I never made it to the party.
2 days later I caught son with a young girl in his room (she had climbed in through the window). I lost it. I went ballistic.
That was the last straw for me.
Grasping at straws he pleaded for me to take him to join the Army. He had that shot the week prior and had refused. I told him, CALL YOUR FATHER CAUSE I AM DONE.
X took son to recruiter that day and son moved to Dad's. Due to timing, son would not ship out until after Christmas. Wonderful POS father that he is, Dad would only let son stay until Thanksgiving. (God forbid he is ever inconvenienced by his only offspring). Son went off his ADHD meds at this time.
There was no way I could let him move back with me, so son asked my Mom if he could stay at her house until he shipped. This became a moot point when POS alcoholic drunk Dad stuck a loaded gun in son's face on November 24th. I'm not going to discuss my feelings on this matter since it would involve me going to prison for homicide. Son then went to Mom's to live.
Mom knew all the history so, son was basically under house arrest and could go nowhere & do nothing. 3 strikes and he would be out on the street. He did hit those 3 strikes. I don't know what they were, that's between them, but son made it through.
All in all, it was good for both of them, Mom enjoyed the company - the house has been too empty since my Dad died, and she had someone to do the little things that she couldn't do around the house. I had also informed son that if he pulled anything on my Mother or took advantage of her in any way, I would take him out of this world - since I had brought him into it, it was my right. Hurting my Mother in any way, shape or form, was not an option
Son had his second swearing in Tuesday December 29th and shipped out to Fort Jackson for basic training.
I had to stick to my guns and not let him move back home though, especially with the loser next door. Yes, it's one of the neighbor from hell's kids. They have two brain cells between the two of them and when they get together they cancel each other out. There was no way I could let him move back home and be able to go to work each day and leave son home alone.
Like I said.....the longest 6 months of my life.
Through all of this son has texted or talked to me daily. He knew I still loved him and wanted the best for him but, he had burned through all his chances with me - and there were many, many, many chances.
Through some planning, I have been on vacation since Christmas Eve. Good thing, since I spent most of Tuesday crying. My head knows all the facts: This is the best thing for him, he will be a changed person when he finishes basic, he will go in a boy and come out a man, he is safe. But, my heart is breaking. I wanted more for him. I wanted him to go to college, to become a responsible adult, to have goals and dreams and ambition.
Now, it's up to the Army to do what I failed to do and instill integrity, loyalty & honesty in my son.
He was so excited when he left. He was running on 2 hours sleep and adrenaline.
Cut to 1:50AM Wed. when he started texting me about how much it sucked, how scared he was, how much he loved and missed me and to tell his Grandmother he thought he was going to die there.
I finally got a call from him tonight and it broke my heart. He is hurting so bad, homesick and crying. BUT....he had the opportunity to be put on a flight home without consequences and he decided to stick it out....because he doesn't want to disappoint anyone. He called his Grandmother too. After a few bad connections, tears, and words of encouragement from his Grandmother and myself, he sounded better.
He is waaayyyyy outside his comfort zone. No more comfy bed and all you can eat while watching DVD's all day at Nana's. Reality is hitting him square in his eye's and it sux. I've never heard so may "I love you so much"es. I also got an I'm sorry for all the shit I put you through and how I never appreciated anything.....etc.....It's amazing what 2 hours or less sleep a night and being away from creature comforts for 48 hours can do to a person. Of course, I'd be drooling, in a straight jacket and babbling incoherently if I was in his situation. He hasn't even started basic yet, he's still in what they call purgatory.
So my friends, you are now up to speed on the goings on here at Sharfa's Space. Say a prayer for my son, Christopher. He's really a good kid with a lot of heart. He just hasn't been using much of his brain since he graduated. He has the intelligence and ability to make it through this, I pray I have given him the heart.
