Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Being in the Now.

A friends band was playing at a local establishment Saturday evening. Both D and Stacy wanted me to go. Stacy's husband is the lead guitar/singer of the band.

It was 8 PM and my son is asking me if I'm going out. Mind you - I was still in my pj's and had never even showered for the day. I asked him why he cared. "Go out and have some fun, you never go out!". There was no ulterior motive on his part.

How lame am I that my almost 18 year old has to push me to go out and have fun?

So I showered, fluffed and buffed and put on a face and went out. I had a couple cold ones and a shot of Zambuca. I even danced once! I used to be one that would never get off the dance floor. I was winded after one dance - how frakin' sad is that?

It's time.

Time to get off the couch and the pitty pot.

Time to get back in shape and start living again.

What if, like my father, I died at 61? That's only 18 years away.
Do I want to look back on those 18 years and see that I spent them lying around like a useless lump, grieving and feeling sorry for myself?

Absolutely not.

I just started reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. Go buy it, it'll cost less than your lunch.

I've realized that my Dad didn't waste a moment of his life. He lived every moment he could to it's fullest. He lived in those moments, not worrying about the future or grieving about the past.
He knew that all he had was this present moment in time, he would always be in the here and now.

I think it's about time I did too.

4 comments:

Melissa said...

Sharfa, You made my heart happy with this entry.

I am so glad that it is time for you to find that happy daughter that your Daddy loved so much and live the happy life he's waiting for you to live. You could only have gotten here when you were ready, so spend no time regretting the mourning you had to do this last year. You had to do it. It was necessary.

He'd be so proud of you. I am.

Just by passing along this bit of advice, I have been given a gift. Life was getting overwhelming again, as it sometimes does, but I need to focus on the living it, the happiness of it, the love in it.

Thanks honey.
Melissa

Anonymous said...

ACK! Can I print up this post and stick it somewhere where I can see it because lady, you've just inspired me! Big hugs to you!
-Rox

Sharfa said...

Melissa - you brought tears to my eyes, thank you so much. I know some days will be better than others.On those bad days I'll "Fake it till I make it".

Rox - You have to ask? Of course you can. You've had one hell of a year yourself. Hugs back at you.

KFarmer said...

Well now~ this post made me so happy I had to get up and do a jig and a wiggle and you know I did~ :)

Oh honey, you have no idea how pleasing it is to me reading that you are putting your boogy back on. I know in my heart that your Dad is glowing w/happiness too :)

You, most lovely and precious one, were meant and born to sparkle and shine~