Tuesday, July 11, 2006


Know the true value of time; snatch, seize and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness…never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

- Lord Chesterfield

I kept myself very busy this weekend. Visited with a friend I hadn't spoken with in many, many months. Spent Saturday at her home on a lake. It was good.

Sunday I spent the day at Mom and Dad's pressure washing everything in sight for about 4 hours. Had a little cookout. Then I went home showered & went to my friend D's house. Helped her clean up the house, they left for a 10 day trip to Florida.

I wiped myself out so much and had a couple too many cocktails Sunday. I could hardly move Monday morning. I bagged the day and spent it on the couch. Totally spent.

Son called and wanted to reschedule his rescheduled dentist appointment for fillings he needed. Ex called to inform me he wasn't going to sit in the office for hours to get sons cavities filled. Ex called back all pissed off that he had to pay $93 for the dentist visit and he will credit that to the support he doesn't have to pay as well. (Short version of court: Ex gets $150 a week credit towards the $2450 in arrears he owes me for every week he has son for the summer, nice huh?)
Funny - I have never gotten "extra" child support to cover dental costs beyond health coverage, co-payments for health visits or the $500 a year for prescriptions, or the $300 for glasses and eye visits. Dad said "That's the pains of parenthood" I said "Yea, but Ex has never had to deal with the pains of parenthood."

They finally got the staging from the oncologist, stage IV, but we already knew that. He will have 10 radiation treatments to the brain. He will then have 30 radiation treatments to his lung. Once the brain treatments are done (they don't do chemo at the same time they irratiate the brain), he will also start chemo - a course of 40 (I believe) treatments over about 3 or 4 months.
I'd say they are treating my Dad's cancer aggressively, wouldn't you? I know, I'm being sarcastic. That's about all I can muster right now.

Thanks all so much for your well wishes and support. Your prayers and good thoughts mean so much. Dad was surprised to hear that he has fans pulling from him from all over the world. Keep 'em coming please. The road ahead isn't going to be easy. Thank you for letting me lean on your strength. May none of you ever have to go through this in your lives.


KFarmer said...

Everyone needs a down day from time to time and I would say you were way over due.

I wish you and your family were not going through this either.

All my good stuff to you and your family- hugs, hugs, HUGS and more HUGS!

James Cooper said...

Perhaps you could ask the judge if you'd be allowed a kick-a-day to your ex's groin to ease the loss in arrears? Or is that only too reasonable?

Keep going Sharfa, and we'll keep being here for you.

Melissa said...


I read you now because of MM and the comments I have seen you make. I stay here becuase I know cancer. Grandma died of breast cancer. Dad had skin cancer, although alcoholism took him.

Don't know if distance prayers help, but the ones we sent Blaze seemed to have worked, so there are some on their way to your Dad right now.

Stu said...

Lean on us all you want. Vent, bitch, moan, whatever you need to do. Keep your head in the game, meaning, focus on yourself, don't neglect yourself, don't lose sight of your own dreams. Oh yeah, also, ice cream soup is good for what ails you. (The recipe is from Kathy Griffin. It's easy: Take a large hunk of warm chocolate cake, put it in a big bowl with a pint of ice cream. Use a mixer to combine and then eat as though tomorrow was just a rumor.)

Julie said...

I think I would have had a lot of cocktails too after the week you had and doing all that work... maybe an IV of vodka for myself :)

Seems your ex got a sweet deal. But at least he will get a feel of what it is like to be a real parent for a while and know what a real responsibility it is. Let him know how much you are enjoying your summer. :)

Lots of loving thoughts and healing energy are headed your way for your father and your family!

'Riv' Rivers said...

My dad's best friend is your dad. He is so special to us. I will continue to pray and send healing thoughts his way and to all of your family. Bobby and 'Riv' Rivers

Sharfa said...

You guys are so great, thank you.

K - Amen & thank you.

James - I love that idea.

Melissa - Thank you so much, I think every bit helps and distance doesn't matter.

Stu - I think you are someone I could throw back shots & beers with, oh, and ice cream soup.

Julie - baby is coming home for a visit this weekend. I can't believe it's been three weeks! I'm very happy ex is getting a taste of my world. Keep that mojo coming!

Bobby - Thanks so much for stopping by & for your kind thoughts.
As far as I'm concerned - all of you are family.
We kids basically grew up together!
I hope you've fully recovered from the May floods (saw the pics - holy crap!)

Bobby Rivers said...

that was my sister, Kathy, 'Riv' who found your blog site. All of us are thinking of you and love you. Bobbyzbur

Bob Rivers said...

He's not only SuperDad but SuperPartner and SuperFriend! I LOVE HIM. BOB