Thursday, June 23, 2005

Father Knows Best

I was sitting around the pool with my Mom and Dad on a hot presummer Saturday the 11th of June. My son was with his Father, a rare occasion. All I had to do was drop him off locally to a graduation party of a friends son. It was 3 o'clock and the ex was already inebriated, lovely. Only child was driving me up the wall and, when pressed, the ex informed me his wife would be driving and she was sober. "Drop him off and he'll be out of your hair. We'll keep him overnight and drop him off in the morning". "Fine". Geez, can you help it? It's only been over a month since you've seen your son! You talk like you're doing me some kind of big favor! He's your son too! My actual thoughts ran on the more profane and insulting track - but you get the point.

I told Dad that I had filled out an online auto loan application with the credit union. It was incomplete because I didn't have the actual vehicle cost, make/model or VIN # to fill in. I would head to the dealership tomorrow to shop. I expressed my doubts at a loan approval due to my bad credit.

I had run up considerable debt on credit cards. At the time it happened, I was salaried once a month and making $21,000 a year. My daycare costs ended up being close to 50% of my salary and the ex wasn't paying his support. I had to pay for daycare, I had to put food on the table.....So I would get cash advances on my credit cards. Eventually it got ahead of me and I couldn't even pay the minimum anymore. I was too ashamed to ask for help. I should be able to support my son after all. I made $87 a month too much for any kind of assistance such as food stamps. I also couldn't afford to pay my rent. I own my home but rent the property. So, I blew off rent as well. I got in deep.

Just when I was about to file bankruptcy, I got my present job. It was considerably more money than I had been making. The commute was much further - but worth it. Long story short - I paid off all the credit card debt, and the balance of the rent debt will be paid off in November. But my credit report still looks like hell because of it all.

"You'll get the loan, Father knows best. You've paid off all the credit cards, you've been making double rent payments for over a year. You'll get the loan". Said Dad. "And I suppose I'm going to have to admit you were right and I was wrong if I do?" "No, just tell me Father knows best, and stop being so negative". He chuckled.

Son was dropped off at 10:30 AM Sunday morning. He informed me that they had actually spent the night at the party and slept in a camper. "Daddy was so drunk he fell out of the bed". Wonderful. What the hell was I thinking when I married him? "I stayed up till 12:30. " Great, now you're going to be tired & cranky" "Did you have a good time?" I asked, belying my inner turmoil. "Yea, they had a live band! First one I've ever seen..It was so cool!" He was home safe and sound, he had a good time and his Stepmother watched out for him. I didn't want to probe any further into his Father's behavior and have him pick up on my anger, so I let it drop. I walk a fine line with my son and his father's relationship.

We headed north to Nashua, NH.

I had researched out a Kia Sportage online. It's what I wanted. Affordable, great warranty and quality product at a reasonable price.

There were only a few Sportages on the lot, many more Sedona's. A Steel Silver one caught my eye - 4x4, and lower than what I saw priced on line. It had everything I wanted - A/C, power everything, 4x4, and they would give it to me for $170 over dealer invoice. "Let's do it" I said to the very nice & helpful salesman, Shawn. One thing that was great about my experience was that I wasn't stomped upon by an overenthusiastic salesman as soon as I hit the lot. There was no pressure.

The paperwork was drawn up and signed. Now, I just had to cross my fingers and pray that Father really did know best.

3 comments:

izchan said...

Your father sounds like a smart man. :)

I would listen to him.

Magazine Man said...

Man, I've been there. Most of my 20s were spent paying down debt (often late) I had built up just to pay for basics, so when it was time to be a grown-up and start getting things like new cars and mortgages, I had some serious damage control.

You'll get the loan. You've got a good job; you took care of your old debt. They notice stuff like that. They didn't used to, but they do now.

I bought my shit-brown Chevette in Nashua, you know. My credit was so bad, GMAC wouldn't give me a loan, but the dealership agreed to hold the note. Not that you'll need to go that route, but it makes me realize there's always an option.

Good luck, and post pics when you get the new car. Hey! Maybe you can start doing carvlogs like our man Shane.

I'll do it if you will...

mydogischelsea said...

Hi Sharfa! Good luck with the loan approval. I think Magazine Man is right -- you'll be fine.