Late last week they changed her Cardiovert from Monday to Wed. (for unknown reasons) - they should have left it on Monday.
About 11:30 yesterday, Mom was feeling so bad & her heart rate was so erratic, that she drove herself to the local urgent care facility. It must be the RN mentality, it didn't even occur to her to call an ambulance. OY! I found out about it all when Dad called me to drive him so he would be able to drive Mom's car home.
We arrived at the window of the urgent care area. After a few minutes one of the "extremely busy" nurses at the desk looked up and and droned her mantra "You need to be seen? Please sign the sheet and have a seat." Dad leaned in "I'm here to see Sharfa's Mom". Slightly annoyed at the nurses tone with us, I muttered "Bitch" under my breath. Dad muttered "Don't fall over". I didn't understand his meaning until the locked door was opened by a woman with the biggest bosom I had ever seen. She was the definition of an "apple" figure. She gave new meaning to the term "barrel chested". The exertion of moving her large frame from the desk to the door showed in her flushed face.
We were directed to the last room on the left. Mom was curled up, covered with blankets and on nasal O2. She looked pale and fragile to me. She sat up when we entered and she pointed out the heart monitor which switched back and forth from her pulse to heart rate. It looked like a slot machine run amuck. The numbers flashed different every time: 161, 89, 142, 93, 130......Her breath was shallow and short.
We got the lowdown on what was going on. They were waiting to hear back from Mass General to see if she could be a direct admit. Going through Emergency, they would have to repeat everything she had already been through at Urgent Care. A misnomer if there ever was one. If you've ever seen ER, this was the opposite of that. Things seemed to move in slow motion, and I worry that Big Barbie would have a heart attack if she ever had to do anything urgently.
Mom put her hand to her forehead "Fuck! It isn't going to be much of a Christmas". This is how my parents are. Here is my Mother, lying in a hospital bed with her heart racing like Seabiscuit, and she's worried about all the shopping she hasn't been able to do. Worried about there not being enough presents under the tree, worried about everyone else. "Screw Christmas" my Dad and I both said. "You'll get the Convert done tomorrow and feel like your old self" Said Dad. "I hope so" Mom whispered.
We joked and laughed. It help relieve some of the tension. We heard the on call Dr. on the phone with Mass General and the three of us leaned towards the door - trying to eavesdrop on what was being said. "Lasix, heart normal size....lungs" Only bits and pieces could be heard. Mom was worried about having to go into Boston by ambulance, worried about the exorbitant charge they nail you with. "So what" I said "They need to monitor you and have everything handy should something happen. Daddy certainly can't plug you into the car radio for monitoring".
Mom and Dad finally told me to go home, they didn't know how much longer it would be. Everything was under control and I had a sick kid (home from school) at home. Dad called me later. They took her in by ambulance, he went home and she would call when she got settled. There wasn't much of anything he could do anyway.
Dad will be heading there after working a bit this morning. He'll keep me posted.
I'm home with the sick kid again. He's feeling better but still has the stuffy head, sore throat, achy, waking up every hour thing. Too bad - I made a very pretty Tiramisu for the staff Christmas party today.
I told my Dad we should just forget Christmas. "Let's just sit around, eat all day and have a movie marathon, or like Chunks suggested play Scrabble" Sounds like a plan to me.
I know Mom is really scared, even though she tried to hide it. Strangely though, I'm not. I know everything is going to be OK. I'll be in the kitchen, baking a few hundred cookies and breads and treats, if you need me.
I'll post more as I hear.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Conversion
Mom is going in to Mass General Monday to be converted. No, not to the religion of Hospital worship, but to a normal heart rhythm. They will sedate her and shock her heart.
Apparently, it's not a big deal and they do this all the time. Not with my Mother you don't!
Seriously though, it's an outpatient procedure and she should be fine. She just can't take feeling like she has been anymore. I don't blame her, she's wiped out at the slightest effort. Meds should help keep her from reverting back to A-Fib.
I only wish everything could be fixed with a good jolt of electricity.
"CLEAR!"
Apparently, it's not a big deal and they do this all the time. Not with my Mother you don't!
Seriously though, it's an outpatient procedure and she should be fine. She just can't take feeling like she has been anymore. I don't blame her, she's wiped out at the slightest effort. Meds should help keep her from reverting back to A-Fib.
I only wish everything could be fixed with a good jolt of electricity.
"CLEAR!"
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Bah Humbug!
I have a question for all of you:
Where are you at with your Christmas Shopping? I know that Holiday Shopping is the more politically correct phrase. Go HERE to find out exactly how I feel about that.
Are you already done? I hate you.
Not even started yet? At least I'm ahead of you
Got some but oh so much more to buy, bake, craft? High fives! We're in the same boat
Can I say how much I hate shopping!
People are soooooooooo rude, ignorant and selfish. Like Chunks said a little freakin courtesy goes a long way. These people that take up entire isles and cannot be bothered to get out of the way are going to find my foot up their ass very soon!
That's why I've let my fingers do some of the shopping online and I'm firing up the oven and glue gun for the rest of it.
So, Where you at?
Where are you at with your Christmas Shopping? I know that Holiday Shopping is the more politically correct phrase. Go HERE to find out exactly how I feel about that.
Are you already done? I hate you.
Not even started yet? At least I'm ahead of you
Got some but oh so much more to buy, bake, craft? High fives! We're in the same boat
Can I say how much I hate shopping!
People are soooooooooo rude, ignorant and selfish. Like Chunks said a little freakin courtesy goes a long way. These people that take up entire isles and cannot be bothered to get out of the way are going to find my foot up their ass very soon!
That's why I've let my fingers do some of the shopping online and I'm firing up the oven and glue gun for the rest of it.
So, Where you at?
NUMB3RS
2 = Small Tumors untreated, Chemo rounds scheduled (2 months)
3 = The number of Tumors we thought he had
6 = Weeks until follow up
9 = Tumors treated
11 = Tumors Total
14 = Hours at the hospital
80-90 = What Mom's heart rate has dropped to, though it's still irratic
It was a very, very long day for my folks. I haven't seen the PICS Mom took of Dad with the Halo on yet. Tough to eat wearing that thing and, he couldn't wear his glasses, so he couldn't even read. They left 2 tumors untreated because they would have had to reconfigure the machine and apparently thats very time consuming. They found a total of 11 because they did a high contrast MRI, the extras decided not to show up on the regular MRI. In a way that could be considered a good thing. At least they are small and they zapped what they could.
Dad had chemo when he went to the oncologist Tuesday. It kind of surprised my folks because they thought this was more of an update consult. His #'s were up a bit - but that could have been due to the Gamma rays. All the hair that started to come in on his head is going to fall out again.
January is the follow ups. He'll also have lung, ab., pelvis MRI as well as head MRI and then we'll see where we are at.
Mom is about the same. Pulse rate down in the 80-90 range - but irratic. She still hasn't converted. She's got an upcoming appointment as well to see what her next step is.
Hurry up and wait.....again.
Thank you for all your well wishes and mojo!
3 = The number of Tumors we thought he had
6 = Weeks until follow up
9 = Tumors treated
11 = Tumors Total
14 = Hours at the hospital
80-90 = What Mom's heart rate has dropped to, though it's still irratic
It was a very, very long day for my folks. I haven't seen the PICS Mom took of Dad with the Halo on yet. Tough to eat wearing that thing and, he couldn't wear his glasses, so he couldn't even read. They left 2 tumors untreated because they would have had to reconfigure the machine and apparently thats very time consuming. They found a total of 11 because they did a high contrast MRI, the extras decided not to show up on the regular MRI. In a way that could be considered a good thing. At least they are small and they zapped what they could.
Dad had chemo when he went to the oncologist Tuesday. It kind of surprised my folks because they thought this was more of an update consult. His #'s were up a bit - but that could have been due to the Gamma rays. All the hair that started to come in on his head is going to fall out again.
January is the follow ups. He'll also have lung, ab., pelvis MRI as well as head MRI and then we'll see where we are at.
Mom is about the same. Pulse rate down in the 80-90 range - but irratic. She still hasn't converted. She's got an upcoming appointment as well to see what her next step is.
Hurry up and wait.....again.
Thank you for all your well wishes and mojo!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Going Under The Knife
This PIC is from 1973 (I believe or '75) of my Dad and his best friend Bob. Dad is on the right - love the hippy hair and those 70's shirts?!?! I believe this was a celebration party from when Dad & Bob formed their business partnership.
Thank you Bob & Ginnie for the PIC.
The procedure Dad is having tomorrow is called Gamma Knife or Stereotactic Radiosurgery. I pray it works as well as they claim and it annihilates the brain metastases.
I need to give a shout out to KFarmer
and her persistence in calling me a second time when I was being a shit and didn't return her call. Thank you for your support and kind words - they lifted me up.
If it's not too much to ask, would you all mind sending a lil magick this way tomorrow and help give the Gamma an extra kick? I'd really like to see my Dad smile like that again.
Thank you Bob & Ginnie for the PIC.
The procedure Dad is having tomorrow is called Gamma Knife or Stereotactic Radiosurgery. I pray it works as well as they claim and it annihilates the brain metastases.
I need to give a shout out to KFarmer
and her persistence in calling me a second time when I was being a shit and didn't return her call. Thank you for your support and kind words - they lifted me up.
If it's not too much to ask, would you all mind sending a lil magick this way tomorrow and help give the Gamma an extra kick? I'd really like to see my Dad smile like that again.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Hope
What a powerful word that is.
With it, anything is possible.
Without it, we are lost.
Mom & Dad were very encouraged by their appointment yesterday, regarding the targeted radiation therapy. I could hear it in my Dads voice last night. The brain tumors are "small", they have a very high success rate treating tumors such as this. The treatment can be done as many times as needed (not just a one time shot as my Dad previously believed). The treament irradiates the tumors without damaging the normal surrounding tissue.
Moms pulse rate is slowly coming down. Her heart still gets racing at the slightest effort. But. It's coming down.
Encouraged.
High success rate.
As many times as needed.
Slowing heart rate.
Hope.
With it, anything is possible.
Without it, we are lost.
Mom & Dad were very encouraged by their appointment yesterday, regarding the targeted radiation therapy. I could hear it in my Dads voice last night. The brain tumors are "small", they have a very high success rate treating tumors such as this. The treatment can be done as many times as needed (not just a one time shot as my Dad previously believed). The treament irradiates the tumors without damaging the normal surrounding tissue.
Moms pulse rate is slowly coming down. Her heart still gets racing at the slightest effort. But. It's coming down.
Encouraged.
High success rate.
As many times as needed.
Slowing heart rate.
Hope.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
A Not So Great Birthday
Mom was admitted to the hospital Monday with heart problems. She is in A-Fib.
They are using medication to try and get her back to a normal heart rhythm. She's out of work until at least December 10th. She's in good spirits and says she's OK. This is something that could have been going on for a while before she became symptomatic. It's another wait and see situation. They want to give the meds a chance to convert her back to normal rhythm before they do an Electrical Cardioversion.
Mom got a call Monday evening from my Dad's Doc. Dad finished his 4th round of chemo and had a CT scan. There is slight growth of the tumors in his brain. Mom suspected something was going on because Dad's been having some memory issues recently.
Happy Fuckin' Birthday.
The next step with Dad is a fairly new treatment using targeted radiation to kill the cancerous brain cells.
I wish it was better news I had to share, especially since I hadn't given you all an update in a while.
My parents amaze me with their courage. They're dealing with all of this realistically and so much better than myself. The love they share glows between the two of them every time they hug - which is often.
I turn into a weepy mess every time I sit down to write at this blog - hence the lack of posts. There is a very important post that I have been putting off writing for 6 months(procrastination being a talent I come by honestly!). Perhaps, I will only write it when I am emotionally ready, which I feel I am getting close to. On the other hand, I feel like the story I want to tell is stopping up the works, so to speak. I've come to realize that until I get it out, I won't be able to move forward. I need to move forward. There is so much to tell and do, and I feel stuck by the weight of this story in my head and heart. Therefore, I'll be spending time writing this weekend and hopefully have something worth reading next week.
Now that I've been all polite and nice, I need to rant for a moment:
This is too much shit for one family to go through! No one deserves this. Dad's got cancer, Moms having heart problems, Bro is separated, heading for divorce and totally fucked up, me - I'm hanging on by an emotional thread. It's not right, it's not fair! My parents have worked too long and hard to be totally fucked over just when they should be chillin and enjoying all those years of sacrifice and hard work. I really wonder what the entire point of living is, if these are the rewards for doing the right thing. Oh and can I say how much I am looking forward to Chrismas this year.....right, NOT.
End of rant.
To steal a line from Chunks:
I must be dropping an egg and that's why I'm so emotional.
They are using medication to try and get her back to a normal heart rhythm. She's out of work until at least December 10th. She's in good spirits and says she's OK. This is something that could have been going on for a while before she became symptomatic. It's another wait and see situation. They want to give the meds a chance to convert her back to normal rhythm before they do an Electrical Cardioversion.
Mom got a call Monday evening from my Dad's Doc. Dad finished his 4th round of chemo and had a CT scan. There is slight growth of the tumors in his brain. Mom suspected something was going on because Dad's been having some memory issues recently.
Happy Fuckin' Birthday.
The next step with Dad is a fairly new treatment using targeted radiation to kill the cancerous brain cells.
I wish it was better news I had to share, especially since I hadn't given you all an update in a while.
My parents amaze me with their courage. They're dealing with all of this realistically and so much better than myself. The love they share glows between the two of them every time they hug - which is often.
I turn into a weepy mess every time I sit down to write at this blog - hence the lack of posts. There is a very important post that I have been putting off writing for 6 months(procrastination being a talent I come by honestly!). Perhaps, I will only write it when I am emotionally ready, which I feel I am getting close to. On the other hand, I feel like the story I want to tell is stopping up the works, so to speak. I've come to realize that until I get it out, I won't be able to move forward. I need to move forward. There is so much to tell and do, and I feel stuck by the weight of this story in my head and heart. Therefore, I'll be spending time writing this weekend and hopefully have something worth reading next week.
Now that I've been all polite and nice, I need to rant for a moment:
This is too much shit for one family to go through! No one deserves this. Dad's got cancer, Moms having heart problems, Bro is separated, heading for divorce and totally fucked up, me - I'm hanging on by an emotional thread. It's not right, it's not fair! My parents have worked too long and hard to be totally fucked over just when they should be chillin and enjoying all those years of sacrifice and hard work. I really wonder what the entire point of living is, if these are the rewards for doing the right thing. Oh and can I say how much I am looking forward to Chrismas this year.....right, NOT.
End of rant.
To steal a line from Chunks:
I must be dropping an egg and that's why I'm so emotional.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Happy Birthday Daddy
Today is my Dad's 61st birthday.
We celebrated over the weekend and I actually gave him his present on Thanksgiving. Mom & Dad were going away over the weekend and, who can't use some reading material when relaxing? Mom snatched up Marley and Me first, so Dad was left with Nora Roberts.
Happy Birthday on the actual day, Daddy. May it be a good day, and I'm praying with all my heart for many, many more birthdays that we can celebrate. Love you!
We celebrated over the weekend and I actually gave him his present on Thanksgiving. Mom & Dad were going away over the weekend and, who can't use some reading material when relaxing? Mom snatched up Marley and Me first, so Dad was left with Nora Roberts.
Happy Birthday on the actual day, Daddy. May it be a good day, and I'm praying with all my heart for many, many more birthdays that we can celebrate. Love you!
Friday, November 17, 2006
Dog Breath
It's not easy to sleep when you have a panicked, panting, trembling and whimpering Greyhound 6 inches from your face.
So it was at 2:30 AM this morning. It's been so unseasonably warm here that we had a thunderstorm last night. It took her about an hour to settle down and go back to sleep.
At least she's getting better about them & my new curtains are still in one piece.
So it was at 2:30 AM this morning. It's been so unseasonably warm here that we had a thunderstorm last night. It took her about an hour to settle down and go back to sleep.
At least she's getting better about them & my new curtains are still in one piece.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Bestest Friends
What's the matter?
Nothing.
I hear that sound in your voice, whats going on?
Gawd, I hate you! (laughs) How do you do that?
I can see right through you!(laughing)
I know, and I hate you for it! Can't hide anything from you.
I can hear it, you're just going through the motions, doing what you have to to get by. Ya gotta snap out of it girl!
Yea, you're right.
My bestest friend D knows me too well.
Nothing.
I hear that sound in your voice, whats going on?
Gawd, I hate you! (laughs) How do you do that?
I can see right through you!(laughing)
I know, and I hate you for it! Can't hide anything from you.
I can hear it, you're just going through the motions, doing what you have to to get by. Ya gotta snap out of it girl!
Yea, you're right.
My bestest friend D knows me too well.
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