Friday, December 21, 2007


So far Dusty has been a real sweetie through her heat.
She follows me even more than usual, only to crouch and riggle every time I speak to her.
She has been going to bed when I do - she sleeps next to me, and sleeping through the night.
There has been no caterwauling, she hasn't even gotten loud.
My heart goes out to the poor thing though.
Lot's of scratching and petting to give whatever comfort I can, I refuse to go as far as some have.
That's just wrong on so many levels. I don't think I could bring myself to molest my cat.
Hopefully this will be the worst of it and I can schedule her to be fixed after Christmas.
This is just one of the many things I have neglected doing over the last few months.
Grief really is a bitch that turns your life inside out, upside down and backwards.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Negative is a Good Thing

The pet scan is clear. No uptake, no lymph nodes,negative, nada, no cancer.

It's a good thing.

Now it's a matter of figuring out just what caused the nodules.

I cried tears of relief and gratefulness.

Thank you God, Goddess, the Universe, fate.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Better than the Cat's Meow

I've been rather mum about my Mom. I think you all deserve an update.

Mom is back in sinus rhythm. We found that out the day I brought her in to be cardioverted. Mom has been on heavy meds to keep her pulse/BP and heart rate down. Since she hadn't been banging away at 160, she didn't realize she had converted on her own. Now they are backing down the heavy meds, which were exhausting her and she's on the anti arrhythmia meds. Hopefully she's stay in normal rhythm now. She looks better and is feeling much better.

I took Mom for a PET scan Monday. Fourteen nodules showed up on her lungs on the CAT scan she had for her heart. Yes, you read that right. She's seeing the same pulmonologist my Dad did. Apparently, they are too small to be biopsied. Mom sees the Doc tomorrow for all the results. A good sign is that her CEA is still within her normal range. What made me feel most optimistic though, was a comment from Moms cardiologist: "There are so many of them (nodules), if they were cancer - you'd be dead". I shit you not. That's what he said. Blunt, to the point - my kind of Doc.

Mom has to be OK. I know that I would not survive if something were to happen to her. We are both still having a very hard time getting through each day without my Dad.

Christmas is only intensifying that loss. Daddy sat on the couch with Mom last year and wondered out loud if he would be here for this Christmas, before breaking down in tears. He was too sick to even decorate the tree. He didn't want to leave us, he had so much more living to do.

Now that you're understanding my frame of mind, add to that steaming pile a walking, sulking, moody, mouthy, know-it-all, pecker-headed teenager.

I reluctantly broke down and bought a Christmas tree Monday. The only decorations in the house are the ones my son puts up, and there are no lights outside. I'd prefer to go to sleep and wake up January 2nd. The walking attitude I live with opens his mouth and I just want to heave him & the tree out the door and give him a big pile of coal in his stocking. Bill Cosby is right - kids are BRAIN DAMAGED.

Are you getting the picture of my world now?
It's becoming absurd.
It's so not funny that it's hilarious.
Don't believe me?
Here's the icing on the proverbial shitpile.
Are you ready?

Dusty is in heat.

Go ahead and laugh.
For those of you unfamiliar of what living with a cat in heat is like. Go here.

Isn't that just the Cat's Ass?

Friday, December 14, 2007

This is Hell and It's Frozen Over

I'm sure you've all heard about the big storm in New England yesterday.

Boy was it fun.


I left work at 12:45.

I arrived at my Mom's at 3:15.

2 1/2 hours to go 14 miles.

Mom left work at 2.

She arrived home at 6.

I felt really bad that I didn't get through to the hospital before Mom left work. She's petrified of driving in the snow. Dad always drove her during those times. As she put it "I miss my snow chauffeur". I was going to pick her up but didn't get in touch with her before she left.

I think the entire state of Massachusetts was gridlocked yesterday. Everyone left work at the same time and the storm hit hard and fast. People were running out of gas and breaking down on the highways because they were sitting for hours. One poor guy on that called in to a radio station said he had pulled into a rest area to pee. An hour and 45 minutes later he still couldn't get back on the highway - no one would let him into traffic!

I hung out at Mom's until 8 to give everyone a chance to get home. I sailed home in 30 minutes. There were very few cars on the road then, mostly plows.

I had a hell of a time getting son up this morning. It wasn't pretty. I left and told him if he didn't get his ass up and to school I was calling the cops. He only shoveled my driveway enough for my car. I left the house to go shovel Mom's walkways, which he was supposed to help with.

He's been giving me a really, really hard time as of late. He is making stupid choices. It got to the point that his truck is being sold, it's up at his father's and I'm taking it off the road. He shouldn't have a vehicle if he doesn't have a job to buy his own gas and pay insurance. I'm not so sure we are going to make it, he and I. He's becoming uncontrollable and I'm out of options. He's utterly defiant, verbally abusive and refuses to do as he is told. His father won't take him. I can't even get a CHINS (Child in Need of Services) through the court because son is 17 1/2 now, with the maturity of a 5 year old.

I miss my Dad. He'd know what to do.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

I'm in love with Charlie and you will be too!

You will fall in love with this guy named Charlie.

Great photography.

A word of caution; your heart just might explode.

Found courtesy of Dooce.